No, I’m not a bitch otherwise I would call out this one asshole Mitchell from Richmond, Tx’s name out loud, but I won’t. He rescued 3 dogs. He says they’re like his children. Once we came back from a trip to Galveston, one of the biggest regrets of my life ever—visiting that dirty ass beach—and went directly to his place. After stepping out of the shower I went to close his bedroom door and Mitchell barked at me! Not literally, but you get the gist.
He doesn’t believe in closing the door or closing any of his dogs out from anywhere. “They’re rescues,” blah blah blah, neglect, blah, blah, abandonment, blah blah. “Would do anything for those dogs.” Ugh. Bite me! Nay–Spare me.
I remember asking him would he ever consider fucking a woman in front of his nephews? He looked at me like I was crazy. “Do you have a filter at all? First you complain about the house smelling like wet dog [it did!] and now you’re asking me this. Why?”
Well, I mean, I had a point. If you say your dogs are like children to you and you see no problem fucking your partner in front of them, then you like fucking your partner in front of children, no?
Little did I know later on with a thorough background search that Mitchell is a registered sex offender for indecent exposure with a child. YIKES Mimi. Yikes!
Okay I must confess to something. I didn’t shower, I took a bath in his tub after the Galveston beach trip. Unfortunately I should have seen the signs, the big red flag—rubber duckies–Yellow rubber duckies with red beaks floating in the tub. I asked him what those were about and he told me an ex bought it for him after finding out how much he likes baths. Ugh. Hopefully she was of age.
**TIP you may or may not need**
I don’t have genital herpes, but let’s just say if you have a brazillian wax for the very first time and in less than 24 hours don a tight bikini on Galveston beach, then fuck some long, thick dicked bastard—then it’s easy to understand why you’d be doing the herp walk to the drugstore later. I couldn’t even sit down to blow out the candles to my 24th birthday cake. My poor mom looking at me weird, insisting I have a seat to blow them. The one time I actually prefer to kneel to blow anything. First time ever when walking in heels feels better than walking in flats, when wearing no underwear is better than underwear—is when your vagina is broken and needs to breathe. I blame Galveston. Goddamn it Galveston your beaches are dirtier than Mitchell! and Mitchell is a dirty dirty dog!