Pizza is Better than Sex.

Chicago is notorious for judging others harshly against their pizza interest. Especially if you prefer a national chain instead of some local spot. I swear they’re all hipsters; even the old farts, the uncool asshats are hipsters at heart.

Remember the Tinder games? Gosh I wish no one would have blown the whistle on that. I remember way back before tinder when I was a starving artist struggling to make payments…I used to use Craigslist for free dinner. I think it works today, you just gotta be careful not to meet up with anyone cheap enough to want to go to McDonalds or Subway. Not knocking those chains, but go big or go home! Dining restaurants preferably with table cloth–huge pluses. With exotic cuisines I may never have tasted if I were dining on my own… dime.

Pizza is better than sex for obvious reasons. It brings more satisfaction to the taste buds and has my heart going pitter patter more so than any other organ connected to a mammal. What is the best? Meat lovers of course! Stuffed crust meat lovers especially.

Sausage, pepperoni, ham, now that’s a sausage party I’d like to be invited to. Hey-Oh! That’s the only pie I love to eat out. Yowza! I sure wouldn’t mind handling a lot of dough to do so!screen-shot-2016-10-31-at-12-07-43-pmOk I’ll stop now.

I prefer Pizza Hut. Hands down it is the best national chain. It’s worth the price hike.

It goes:

  1. Pizza Hut
  2. Dominoes
  3. Godfather’s
  4. Little Caesars
  5. frozen pizzas from grocery store
  6. every other pizza chain
  7. and lastly Papa Johns

What say you?


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